Happy birthday to me.  Happy birthday to me.  Happy birthday dear Leslie.  Happy birthday to me.

Yup, I’ve been singing that all week.  Well, that and…

It’s my birthday muffin.  I’m a birthday muffin.

But I don’t expect you to know that one.


Today is the 31st.  Four days ago I celebrated my 31st birthday.  I read a chapter of Proverbs everyday – corresponding with the date, so today, I read Proverbs 31.  The Capable Wife.  It’s been kind of a recent revelation of mine that being a good wife, nay, a fabulous, amazing, dang near perfect wife (hey, we all gotta strive for something) is my “job.”  People ask me what I do:  I’m a wife.  I spend my days doing whatever I can to make Trey’s life better.


But it hasn’t always been that way.  When we were first married I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world because I had a hubby who would cook AND wash the dishes after a long day of work.  Little did I know that was flat-out not honoring him.  In fact, there were times in our early marriage when I quite intentionally didn’t honor him because I put my selfish wants and desires above his happiness…above everything else.  And when things got that bad, my amazing husband prayed and asked God how on earth to deal with his horrible (seriously, I definitely had a horrible phase) wife, God told him to “love me.”  And he did.  And it was that unconditional, amazing, forgiving love that has grown our marriage into the amazing bond it is now.  So sure ladies, if your man wants to dote on you, by all means, soak it in and praise him for his efforts.  But don’t come to expect it.  It is your duty to serve your husband because that is precisely what women were designed to do.  Eve was created to be a companion and helpmeet (I love that word) to Adam…not the other way around.


A few years ago (before I met Trey) I attended a wedding with some friends and we were all flabbergasted by how many times the phrase “honor and obey” was used…particularly directed at the bride.  Every little feminist bone in my body stood up on edge.  What a sucker! I secretly thought about the bride.  And, what a jerk! I secretly thought about the groom for obviously insisting that that particular decree be included in their marriage ceremony.  And the friends I was sitting with seemed to agree.  It just wasn’t fair.  The wife was supposed to serve and honor and obey her husband, but all he had to do was love her.  Seemed to me like he got off pretty easy.  But even when I got past that point (ya know, it does say that in the Bible), it seemed like such an insurmountable task!  I mean, who has the energy to serve her husband all the time???  What about days when I’m tired or bored or just don’t feel like it?  What if I have other things to do?  What if I think my hubby ought to spend more time serving me???  It’s taken almost 4 years of marriage to realize that that just doesn’t matter.  Sure, there will be days when I fail miserably.  But that’s precisely why God gave me the most amazing, loving, patient, forgiving husband in all the land…because He knew I couldn’t possibly be the perfect wife every day.


So, officially, on the 31st day of July, in my 31st year, I’m publicly declaring that my goal for the year is to become a Proverbs 31 wife.  A Capable Wife.  A Wife of Noble Character.  A Virtuous Woman.  And I challenge all my married girlfriends to do the same.


The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


Proverbs 31: 10-31


Say a prayer and wish me luck…cause I certainly can’t do it on my own.

3 Replies to “31”

  1. Leslie –

    I love this! You’re so right that although we may fail we must always try. Sometimes it helps to imagine how you would feel if your spouse responded to you the way you want to respond to him. Often, when I reflect on that, I realize just how mean I can sound, albeit unintentionally.


  2. So true! When it comes down to it, women need love and men need respect. If your man doesn’t feel respected then he’s not going to treat you with love. And if you don’t feel loved, it’s very hard to treat your man with respect. It’s a tough balance, but once you get one side right, the other one just falls right into place :)

  3. I completely agree! I have many dreams in life, but the most important dream/goal in my life has always been to be a good wife. I thank God for my husband every day, because I am finally doing what I have always wanted to do…try every day to be the best darn wife I can be! Thank you for sharing this, Leslie!

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