candy cops

Halloween is one of those holidays that seems to really change for adults.  As a young trick-or-treater, I can remember dressing up as Raggedy Ann, a raindrop, and I’m sure some other girly things like a princess or ballerina.  Then, no one dresses up for Halloween when they’re in high school.  Then of course, once you hit college, Halloween is cool again because you dress up as a sexy cat or a sexy witch or a slutty pumpkin.  Once you graduate, you may have a few adult gatherings to attend, but for the most part, it’s a different animal than it was all those years before.  And since I can tell you’re dying to know, as an adult, I’ve dressed up as Gem and Sprout (to Trey’s Jolly Green Giant – Ho Ho Ho). Since we don’t yet have children, we’ve got no Halloween plans this year, other than to eat chili and pass out cheap candy to whatever poor kids show up at our door.  Also, my beautiful pumpkin that I carved has died.  So we don’t even have that anymore. 


One thing I’ve just realized this year is that Halloween is as much for adults as it is for kids…but not in the way I first thought.


I have several vivid memories of trick-or-treating with our dear family friends the Rivenbarks.  We’d truck out through the neighborhood being as adorable as possible whilst shouting “trick-or-treat” in the faces of anyone gracious enough to open their door.  But what I remember most is what came after we got home.  We’d all dump out our pillow cases/baskets/plastic pumpkins full of loot onto the coffee table and commence trading Smarties for Dumdums, Tootsie Rolls for Jolly Ranchers…until the candy police came and confiscated all our hard earned sweets.  Dad and Tom (aka Daddy Rivenbark) would swoop in and take all our candy under the guise of inspecting it for needles and other evidence of tampering.  I don’t know what was wrong with people in the 80s, but I’m thirty years old and I’ve never heard of anyone getting a needle wrapped up with their Milk Duds.  Once the dads had carefully probed every peice of candy, and removed anything they deemed “suspicious,” we were free to stuff ourselves silly.


It wasn’t until this year, this very week, actually, that I realized that adults look forward to Halloween so they can con their poor unsuspecting children out of all the best candy.  Sneaky parents, very very sneaky.


And yes, in a few years, I’m pretty sure Trey and I will be doing the exact same thing.

4 Replies to “candy cops”

  1. HA! So true…it’s best when the kids are little; they definitely don’t notice. Russ just offered to buy Taylor’s candy (under the guise of trying to help her be healthy)…but she said she wanted $50 for it!

  2. So i’m behind and just read this post, I love that you included Dad. I have vivid memories of them taking our candy as well. I’m scarred really. I would like to note, I’m pretty sure he stopped doing that with the younger kids. Of course, as we got older, we didn’t live in neighborhoods, and mom and dad would simply drive us to our friends’ houses to get candy. So i guess there was no fear of needles or poison then.

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