So I’m reading this book that makes me want to go postal. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Seriously, it’s messing with my head and making me question the entire direction of my life. And yes, I’m crying as I read it…cause that’s what I do, yo.
The book is Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Chazown is the Hebrew word for vision. And it’s pronounced with phlegm (like Chava in Fiddler on the Roof) – when pronounced correctly, those around you should feel inclined to say “bless you” or “gazuntite.” Basically, Groeschel (has the hardest-to-spell last name ever) wrote this book as part of his ministry (he’s also senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv) to help people discover God’s vision for their lives. As a Christian, you learn pretty early on that God has a plan for your life, and that it’s super cool and amazing and way more awesome than your own personal dinky little plan. Chazown is written to help you think through some hard (whoa) questions in hopes of discovering what that vision might be.
So far I’ve decided that my life is crazy far off path…I’m pretty sure God’s vision for my life was not to be a total screw up in my twenties and work in a series of jobs that neither challenged me nor provided very much enjoyment. So I guess it’s a relief God has plans for me to prosper…but how the heck to I follow them if I can’t figure out what they are?
Lucky for me (and anyone else who’s read the book), Groeschel has a step by step process that helps guide you into figuring it out. Today I completed the “Purpose Statement” segment, and I strangely feel much better. And what I came up with (though you should know that it wasn’t so much me as Him) was that my purpose isn’t at all what I thought it was going to be. When I got down to it, and compared my core values, spiritual gifts, and past experiences, I discovered that my purpose in life isn’t to be a late-blooming Broadway star or author of the best novel written since A Tale of Two Cities (cause we all know Twilight ain’t it) – it’s to be a good wife and (future) mother. As I age and mature (believe it or not folks, this is much more mature than even 2 years ago), I’m discovering that what drives me every day is the deep desire to be the best wife I can be and to have a home that is welcoming and to eventually raise children to be loving, Christian folks. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t succeed every day. Far from it. But actually putting in writing what think God’s purpose for my life is has given me the get-up-and-go I’ve been longing for.
Granted, I still have over half of the book to go through and Groeschel assures his readers that their purpose statement can grow and change as they do, but I feel truly confident in this new (defined) direction.
So confident, in fact, that I’m going to vacuum.
A few resources that are helping me define my direction: Proverbs 31: 10-31, and A Virtuous Woman.
What’s your chazown?